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SzS -- eyes on my back
tropospheres wrote in amuse_box

(Pirate AU Meme.)

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1.  Boarded:  Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured!  Better hope the other captain gives quarter.  Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim.  That plank was made for walking.

2.  Victory:  You've captured another ship!  You knew those extra cannons would come in handy.  And let's hope they've got lots of swag!  Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3.  Swab the decks:  You're a cabin boy!  It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right?  Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4.  Marooned:  For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood.  As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions.  Where are you?  And who's that already on the shore?

5.  Buried Treasure:  Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one.  Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship?  Better make sure it's you.

6.  Rum:  Rum, everywhere. 

7.  Swordfight:  It's that person you can't stand!  And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without!  Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever.  Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8.  Mutiny:  The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter.  There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it.  The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9.  Kidnapping:  Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows.  Brings a tear to your eye, it does.  Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10.  Take a Gamble:  Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once!  You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea:  You are now a Mermaid/Merman!  That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms.  Don't forget that they can't breathe under water!  You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12.  The Doldrums:  Can you say cabin fever?  The sails haven't moved in weeks.  You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.


meme by. [info]tropospheres  and [info]pandarosi 

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Hm... so boring. [Artemis has a chair brought over and he sits, adjusting his manly lace cuffs and resting his chin in a gloved hand. He watches the infamous Sea Wolf, looking somewhat troubled. He thought it would be harder than this to defeat him.] It's always 'Yar, I'll stick every last man fulla holes b'fore I ask f'r mercy!' and so forth.

[He looks over at the ship, tapping his mouth with a finger.] I haven't decided yet. Perhaps I'll take a vote. Last time we tied all of the hands together and set a fuse to some gunpowder, though we have made profit in the human market...

[He snorts] I only sound like that when I'm drunk. And really, if you want things a little more interestin', you could always untie me.

[He shrugs] Not like I'm goin' anywhere, what with the mess you made of my ship.

[He shifts his shoulders, trying to get them in a more comfortable position] About my crew, I'd prefer they were treated with... courtesy.

Maybe later. Or perhaps you could find a way to untie yourself when I maroon you. [He narrows his eyes thoughtfully at the Sea Wolf.] But I'm intrigued. Why should I treat your crew with courtesy? Perhaps if your reason is good enough we'll let them scurry off and lick their wounds.

Well ain't you just the soul of charity.

And you might be disposed to treat my crew, and perhaps myself with uncharacteristic kindness. Because I can give something you value more than whatever pleasure you're gonna get out of making me 'n' my crew miserable.

[He smirks]


[Ugh, damn it all. If there was one thing Artemis shared with his crew, it was an almost unhealthy lust for gold. He loved it. It could be fashioned into all sorts of delightful objects, and it held value above all else.]

[Artemis narrows his eyes more at the Sea Wolf, as though trying to stare through him and see the truth.]


[Hooked like a fish. Russell smirks.]

Now that'd be tellin' wouldn't it? Let my crew go, with a boat and supplies, and untie me and we can talk a bit. Like civilized gentlemen.

[Hellfire and damnation, he hated this man. Now the thought of gold was crawling around in his head like a brood of starved rats over a barrel of grain. All consuming.]

I'm not an imbecile, Mr. Sea Wolf--none of us are. [There's a general mumble of consent.] I'm not certain I should trust such a ruthless man at his word.

Hm, a pity that. Now, I know you might be wet behind the ears yet, but I've heard you know your history. And if you don't, then perhaps one of your crew can say who my captain used to be, back when I was... oh younger than you.

[He should have heard about it, tales of the bloodthirsty and sadistic Red Peter are still used to scare children into good behavior, even if he's been dead for almost two decades. Dead by Russell's hand. Tales of a great treasure that he left behind are every bit as popular]

And I know I needn't tell you about the gold he left behind.

[He pauses, ever the storyteller]

But what you might not know is that I know where he put it.

[Wheels start turning in Artemis' head. On the one hand: gold. On the other: painful, agonizing failure. On the one hand: gold. On the other: the Sea Wolf was making Artemis dance, and he hated it. Hated it. And if he made one hasty step, he would be cut off at the legs.]


[Artemis stands up from his chair. There was one way to improve the odds: cut the alpha wolf from his pack.]

Relieve Mr. Sea Wolf's ship of its weaponry and any trinkets of value. Put some holes in the sails, leave the crew alive. [He looks down at his captive--it's taking every ounce of willpower he has to not leap on this opportunity. But all good things to those who waited.] As for our guest... take him below, release him once we're out of range of his ship.

[With that he turned on his heel, back to his quarters. Fortunately his crew didn't take much pleasure out of senseless killing, but Artemis hoped that they would trust their clever young captain enough to hold out for a larger prize. One that would, no doubt, take a great deal of doing to achieve.]

[After the Captain goes to his cabin, Russell manages to finagle a few words with the cabin boy, who nods before he's herded onto the crippled ship with the rest of the remaining crew.]

[He somehow manages to keep a confident smirk on his face even as he's led down to the brig, chatting amiably with his captors, every inch the confident and cocky Sea Wolf of the stories.]

[And then he's left alone and he leans back against the wall, listening to the slap of waves on the hull. And the Wolf waits.]

[It's a few hours before Artemis trusts himself to go below and face Mr. Sea Wolf again. He's had a glass of wine, inventoried all of the treasure the crew has collected thus far, and given a new course to the helmsman. These are all just things to placate him for the moment, though. Once he's faced with the possibility of finding Red Peter's treasure again, there's no telling how fast he'll deteriorate again.]

[He walks slowly, deliberately, to the cell his prisoner is being kept in, carrying a stool. He stops in front of the door and sets the stool down and sits--fairly close.]

Your crew has no doubt mended your ship's sails by now, though I am fairly confident they won't be able to track us. I've shown your crew courtesy, as you wanted.

[Russell's eyes stay closed as he hears the door open and the light yet authoritative steps of the young captain came closer. To all appearances he could have been asleep, his posture one of relaxation.]

[When Artemis speaks to him he cracks open one sky blue eye and just watches him for a moment. Another and both come open as he nods, leaning forward as he regards the young man that managed to defeat and capture him. No one has done that, not since Red Peter breathed his last on the end of a bosun's sword.]

I told them not to try. But I thank you for the courtesy, it's more than your reputation gives you credit for, Captain Fowl.

I take it you've had time to think of what I've told you?

And how many of the stories do you believe? [He smiles quixotically, continuing to tap his mouth with a gloved finger.]

Anyway. You asked for a boat and supplies for your crew. I did both--so. [He pulls a set of charts from his breast pocket and slides them under the door.] Coordinates.

As many as you believe about me. [He smiles right back, looking into those intriguingly mismatched eyes and then down at the charts on the floor. He leans down, picking them up and setting them on the bench next to him before he chuckles]

There's one problem. The map? I haven't clapped eyes on it in... oh years now. [he pauses, waiting to watch the Captain's reaction. Hopefully he didn't have a gun on him, or he might not get to find out why Russell hadn't seen them in so long.]


What. [Artemis' mismatched eyes (result of a head injury) narrow at his prisoner, his ire clinging to the air of the brig. He is angry. Perhaps enough to go fetch a gun.]

And I suspect your crew has it right now.

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